Decided to get a wordpress(: at least i can keep some posts private if i have to. Thats the disadvantage of a blogger. everything is viewed under the public eyes. pretty irritating. Nevertheless, i’ll keep this blog away from people unless they manage to actually figure their way here(: The whole point of a blog, apart from posting about your life and helping you keep up with your friends’ is more of posting your innermost thoughts. Right? people who actually used them for cyber bullying are jolly well abusing the rights and purpose of it.
Lynette turned sixteen today! Watching her turned sixteen just scares me. i’ll be sixteen soon. the thought doesnt exactly feels nice. It just means getting older and one step nearer to reality. When everyone grow up, they will start finding a life partner. Except me. since i can never get out of my phobia for relationships. even if one day, a guy manage to change my mind about it and let me courageously be in a relationship it will never be possible for me to have no doubts about him.
Guys can never be trusted. true enough, there are nice guys around. but what is the prpobability that you will meet one? I am not looking for a perfect prince charming because everyone have their own flaws. But at least, one that will love me forever and be faithful. However in reality, there aint fairytales. Guys just put on a fake front which will dramatically disappear after marriage. We girls are just betting our lives on it. Relationship is like going into a war. you either die, or get badly injured. no way you can get out of it unwounded. no way.
Perhaps like what my cousin said, i need the right one to comeby. maybe then he can change my mindset. hopefully, there will be one. because it really hurts to stop believing in relationships and true love. once i get close to it, i will immediately back out.
Or maybe, its just that i have not yet healed. Time hopefully, will miraculously healed it. I really want to learn to love again.
its the heart, afraid of breaking, that never learns to love.