Fearful ):

unhappening friday. haha. Went to com lab after school just so that zann can finish her PI. Didnt expect her to be so intelligent as to not know how to load paper into the printer =.= Who is the blonde here? Went PT after that. I really want to run a longer distance because i feel more than normal after 4km. Its like not even out of breath. But my legs hurt like crap after 1.2. really hate all my injuries and body condition. It sucks big time. I am so afraid my SBJ gonna suck this year. I used to be able to jump minimum 180 cm effortlessly. I dont want to disappoint myself with a silver :/ went ajisen and loiter around with zann after PT before heading home.

Went for house painting CIP today. Really happening before i reached there. And i still feel bad about lying. But whats done cant be undone so i guess i will have to live with it. This sucks. more than anything else. I guess apart from being pissed at myself, i am pissed at the accusation and the useless committee. They cant even plan and organise such simple things. It was really disappointing to know how the whole event turned out to be. Shall not harp on it. Anyways painiting was pretty fun. And screwed up majorly. Kun mei cut her foot as she stepped on the metal tin. OUCH. The blood really just keep dripping and splatter everywhere and everyone was at a loss. ohmygod. Still gross me out when i think about it. So after helping her clean her wound etc, she went to the clinic and all is well now(: pray for a speedy recovery for her!

Ceiling painting is the worst part =.= with all the paint raining down on us. hahaha. But i guess all the laughter brightened up the day a little. And the owners are really really nice <3 love them! so cute together and happily married for 40 over years. awwww (:

Really lots of work to do. Such a tiring week and i am afraid i might really just give up.

I dont know what to do anymore. I dont even know how to feel anymore. I just dont want to get hurt. The fear is still there and i am afraid it will forever be there.

Take my hand and drag me head first, fearless.


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